Expedition Wilderness

Camping is a wholesome, educational activity for the whole family to enjoy. It's a great way to teach kids about the great outdoors, creatures big and small, and what it is like to 'rough it'. We headed out to the great wilderness of Alaska and the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge for a camping expedition.


In reality it was our back yard. Dad set up his ultralight tent and thought it might be nice to camp under the stars with Charlotte. You know, have a little campfire, make some S'MORES, snuggle up in a tent, and listen to the wind blow to fall asleep. For some reason he couldn't find his tent stakes, so he decided to make a quick run with Charlotte to WalMart for replacements.

WalMart with a 2 1/2 year old is an experience in itself. LUCKILY she was strapped into the cart. Dad has never noticed that WalMart actually has some isles that consist of nothing but pink items. A little girls heaven. Next time you are there, look for the pink isle. Marketing genius.

In the camping section we passed an inflatable mattress. Of course dad wanted to by the cheap $12 one for Charlotte. However, she talked him into the $29 deluxe princess edition. There is something fundamentally wrong with the idea of anything pink in the wilderness on a camping trip. But if it got her to like the great outdoors, he was all for it.

Also on the list of purchases:
Glow Sticks - great nightlight replacement
Lemonade - the man in the yellow hat on Curious George loves it
Tent Stakes - no justification needed
Pink Princess Air Bed - dad is a sucker
Queen Sized Air Mattress - dad thinks his has a leak, so he bought a new one
Marshmallows and chocolate - SMORES
Charcoal - to cook the marshmallows outside on the mini Weber
12 pack Dr. Thunder - Dr. Pepper rip off that is exactly the same for $2.88!
Nylon rope - every wilderness guide needs rope
Cool Touch Pull UPs- per moms request. Charlotte is potty training
One Infant outfit - per moms request although of course it is wrong. She said it was a boys outfit. I said Yellow is universal.

As soon as we got home, dad realized the small ultralight tent he had already set up was not going to fit both Charlotte's princess bed and dad's queen bed. So he pulled out the gigantic deluxe family tent (which does has tent stakes so in reality he never needed to go to WalMart). Presto Chango and the big tent was set up to replace the small tent. However, dad now couldnt find the airpump for the mattresses. However he did know exactly where the leaf blower was! Would it work? YES Great idea dad. (notice the leaf blower in the picture)


We ate dinner then started the fire outside for the marshmallows. As soon as the package was opened, Charlotte quickly shoved multiple in her mouth and began chomping. Dad used a stick to heat up a good amount (we are not telling you how many SMORES we ate) and made the delicious camping treat. Into the house we went to bathe, get pj's on, and then camp outside!

Wooo hoooo! With laptop in one hand and Charlotte in the other we entered the tent. She LOVED her princess bed and quickly snuggled in. Dad of course being the tech geek he is fired up the laptop to watch movies with Charlotte (and wireless internet works in his back yard). As the sun set, we snuggled in and she was just about asleep. Dad shut off the movie. It was like a switch went on in Charlotte's head sounding the siren to wake up. Moving from her bed to my bed. Wriggling and writhing. Talking up a storm about nonsense things like going to school and eating grilled cheese sandwiches. Essentially talking about anything and everything to keep herself awake.



By now it was dark and Charlotte said, "All Done Camping". That was it. He wasn't about to torture her with one of the things he loves the most. Disappointed and broken hearted like the expedition that attempts to climp Mt. Everest and has to turn back, we headed inside. Next time he will leave the movie on until she falls asleep or perhaps he will skip the marshmallows with all their sugar. Im sure she would sleep very well in a big new pop-up camper.

***UPDATE- I did not want "cool touch" pull ups, just plain pull ups. What kind of chemical or ingredient is in them to make them "cool", no thanks against my child's skin that has crazy skin sensitivity.
Also, I asked for a one piece outfit with long pants and short sleeves. He came home with two outfits with no sleeves and shorts. They were yellow, green, light blue and orange. It's not quite warm enough for the little dresses and short sleeves.

Wii Fit

Excersize while playing a video game? Any excuse to talk mom into allowing dad to purchase a video game system sounded good to him. He tried to get mom to agree that a Playstation III and Grand Theft Auto was a great way to relieve stress, thus making him healthier. Instead mom went for the WiiFit idea. Thank you Today Show for popularizing it for us. If Matt Lauer said it was cool, well then we HAD to get it.

Ok, it is cool. How it works without wires is a mystery.You stand on the board and PRESTO! Weight and Body Mass Index is calculated. What I will say is that my weight was dead on and now I have a video game telling me I am fat. Just what we all need.

Once it was set up, Mom quickly took over, testing her fitness and playing some of the games. One of the games requires you to walk a tight rope, using your balance. She died. However, another game where you get points for spinning an virtual hula-hoop she was amazing at. And I think she broke a sweat.

Will it replace the gym? No. Is it a fun way to work out at home without feeling like you are working out? Absolutely. Highly recommended for those of you with kids or parents that could use a little extra activity.

Things Not To Do

Things not to do:
Do not leave a newborn unattended on a couch.
Do not spank the bum of a 2 1/2 year old who thinks its fun to stick her finger deep into the dogs eye. At least not when she doesn't have any clothes on. A bare bottom spank in front of a wife who is a mandated reporter is a big No No.
Do not leave your wife alone for a night with a newborn who has a fever. She is liable to give the 3 week old baby Tylenol. Wait, make that the wrong DOUBLE dose of Tylenol. They have to be 2 months to get anything.

Happy Birthday Mamma!!

Dad may be a great father, but sometimes he is a lousy husband. Mom had no presents to unwrap on her birthday. Not a one. He did make sure to get her a card and of course Charlotte and Maeve got her a card as well. But on the present front he was lacking.

Mom has wanted a necklace for mothers day and her birthday. Unfortunately it was a little "different' than all of the suggestions of friends and family. So instead of getting her something that she liked instead of loved, he had mom order it herself. Not very romantic and thus no present to unwrap. To date, the necklace has still not arrived.

We did get to spend a great day at the beach. Charlotte and dad searching for crabs. Mom with Maeve attached to her boob under the umbrella freezing in the shade. We did find some crabs and brought them to mom for her birthday. Who hasn't heard of birthday crabs? Oh and a couple of shrimp for good luck as well.


The crabs were not a hit so instead we decided to head into Portsmouth for a little lunch. It was such a nice day. It was very busy, the decks were packed, but we happened to steal a table immediately at the Stockpot. We had an awesome lunch and were stuffed. We wandered into the Wine and Cheese shop and splurged on a bottle of Muscat di Asti and some special stinky cheese. Yummm. Time to head home. We were full, tired, and ready to go.

When we got home we decided to skip dinner. The special dinner dad planned of fresh pan seared sea scallops went uncooked. Instead we will have them on Monday. However dad did pull off getting mom her favorite mix of cake and icecream from our friends at Carvel.




Dad really tried to make the day special for mom. Like most men, he probably doesn't tell her nearly enough how much he loves her and how important she is to him. He can't imagine a life or a family without her and would do anything to ensure her happiness in this world. Even if that means he should pick up after himself and unload the dishes. I love you dear.

The Artist

"Swimming Water Under Darkened Sunlight" is Charlottes latest work. With coveralls made of old pajamas, Charlotte takes reign of the canvas and creates a masterpiece in acrylic. Using dramatic blues she captures the essence of the moment and truly inspires the imagination. This is the first in her new series of work which will be on display starting in June.

Quiet Time

Less words, more pictures.

Dad enjoying some quiet time with his new daughter Maeve:




Such tiny hands:



Playing with Mr. Bear:



And big sister Charlotte:



Charlotte playing in the water table:

Bath Time

When she is not awake, Maeve really enjoys sleeping. She loves looking at the inside of her eyelids. Many times we catch her smiling while she sleeps. Lord knows what she is dreaming about? My guess is she is dreaming her older sister will feed her some candy. Or that she will have the same curfew as her older sister. Or it could just be gas. Regardless it is cute and makes me wonder whats going on in that little hairy head of hers.

Since Maeve has so much hair, mom is constantly washing it so it doesn't get too greasy. Maeve of course does what she is best at. Sleeps. Yes, an infant that actually can sleep through a hair washing. Well I guess it is pretty relaxing so I can't blame her. Dad would probably sleep too while having someone wash his hair if he could. But I digress, Supercuts is not the place I want to fall asleep. I would end up with one eyebrow and even more bald spots on my head.

Now if we could only get you to sleep all night long..

New Baby I Hate Dad Syndrome

"I hope you enjoy this project because it's the last one you are doing this year!" Mom yelled to dad as he was trying to install a custom made screen door on the front of the house. Jeeze. You think just because Maeve didn't sleep well and is constantly clinging on mom that the world has to stop! You would think that just because dad woke the baby up with his hammering outside after mom spent an hour trying to put her to sleep that he was a criminal. Mom has New Baby I Hate Dad Syndrome. All wives get it. It usually kicks in a few weeks after the baby is born once they realize the amount of work with a newborn is not going away. Gone is the excitement of bringing the new baby home. Hello "reality" of "wow, this is a lot of work on so little sleep". Oh and since dad's don't have boobs there is only so much they can do. New Baby I Hate Dad Syndrome makes mom's jealous of dad's who can go on doing their own things as if the world hasn't suddenly changed. New Baby I Hate Dad Syndrome makes mom's angry because they cant just run and frolic outside like dad's. That's part of being a woman. Sorry dear. It's not my fault.

Luckily NBIHD Syndrome is only active a little while...somewhere in the 12 - 18 month mark it starts to settle down....although it never truly goes away. Once a woman gets it, it stays in her....deep down inside. It can suddenly appear out of no where. Causing fits of rage, swearing, screaming, and yelling. As far as I know, there is no cure. Chocolate, flowers, cards, and picking up the house without being asked seem to help.

Maeve has not done much since the last post. She continues to eat, grow, sleep, cry, and poop. Here is a shot of Maeve sleeping.

Here is dad with his girls:




Charlotte on the other hand continues to be a big help around the house. She helped dad mow the lawn and she helped Nanny plant flowers in the flower boxes. Afterwards she did what all 2 1/2 year olds do. Frolic and dance around the driveway.














****UPDATE BY MOM: it took my lovely husband 4 hrs to do a project that would take most men or at least my father 30 mins...

UPDATE BY DAD: As you can see Shelby has a very severe case of New Baby I Hate Dad Syndrome. What my wife neglected to tell you is that since our house is 105 years old every project requires "custom" work. Nothing is level, straight, or square with this house. Its OK dear. I know in 12 - 18 months you will be feeling better.

Hello Mr. Poop!

Hi there. My name is Mr. Poop. I was Charlotte's friend until she decided to excrete me into the potty like a big girl. Looks like my days of sticking to diapers making a stinky mess are just about over. It was fun while it lasted. Now that Charlotte wants to wear "big girl underwear" my days are numbered. Thankfully Maeve will be my new partner in crime. Hopefully she wont get any bright ideas seeing her big sister using the potty. I'd like to "stick" around a while.






Overnight Charlotte has grown up. Perhaps it just seems that way having a newborn at home, but suddenly she is doing things like helping dad wash the cars, playing nicely with the dogs, going pee and poop on the potty, and just talking up a storm. She loves the Olivia book that Paul, Jena, and Marin gave her. In the book Olivia goes to the museum to look at her favorite paintings. One is called Stage Rehearsal by Edgar Degas (of course with Ballerinas, her favorite), the other is by Jackson Pollack, painting No. 5 (dad's favorite of course). Charlotte loves saying Jack Pollack and loves that Olivia thinks she can paint the same thing. So in keeping with the book, dad brought Charlotte outside to paint her version of No. 5. He gave her a big canvas and free reign of his acrylic paints. One hand went into the paint. Then the other hand. The next thing you know she was painting up a masterpiece.

Cleaning the paint off of her skin, clothes, and yes hair, is an ongoing process.





Charlotte helping dad wash the cars:





Miss Maeve has been a peach, attached to mom, doing what all newborns should do. Pooping. Peeing. Eating. Sleeping. Whats that? No crying? Well she does cry but in general is a pretty quiet kid. We love that she allows mom and dad to sleep at night for hours and hours at a stretch. Shhhhh. Don't tell anyone. We don't want to jinx it!

Mom has done her best to keep Maeve's head of hair clean. Tonight she got her first bath in the sink. I don't think she enjoyed it so much, especially compared to Charlotte's first real bath.

Charlottes First Bath:



Maeve's First Bath:






Yeah, I'd say they were completely opposite experiences.


PS. John and Kate Plus Eight also photograph their kids poop. We are not as strange as you think.