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How did dad survive Old Orchard Beach with all those kids?

By drinking daily as much and as often as possible By pretending he was invisible By hiding in his room all day pretending he ate a bad clam By lathering himself full of sunscreen on the beach every day in the 100 degree heat By enjoying every kind loving word his wife said to him over the weekend By playing with Charlotte on the floor while she ate random items left overs from old motel room guests By saying "there is no place like home" and clicking his flip flops together Ambien. Lots of Ambien. By escaping to the "pier" with the guys any chance he got

Old Orchard Beach Kids Weekend II

Dad survived. It wasn't pretty but he made it. First a big thank you to Jaci and Britteny for watching Abigail and Oliver for the weekend. They didn't run away, that to us is a huge success.

The drive to Old Orchard Beach (a.k.a. OOB) was quick. Only 1 1/2 hours door to door. That was great! We were there on Thursday by 4pm. We stayed at the luxurious SeaCliff House Motel. How could you go wrong? It had color cable tv with HBO and "private baths". We shared a room with Lisa, Ryan, and Colin. The rooms by normal standards were on the larger side when empty. Of course 6 of us in a motel room got a little tight but we managed.



Both couples overpacked. Dad wore the same thing every day as usual. He should know better by now. The good thing is this is the first trip where he didn't forget anything. Ok....he did forget the sound machine that Charlotte needs to sleep at night. Thanks to mom for pointing out how stupid dad is for getting the one truly important thing that you cant just find at the beach shops in Old Orchard Beach. Of course dad improvise by using the monitor on the wrong channel and turning up the volume of the static. Worked like a charm...and hey it was one less thing he needed to pack.

The first night was a little rough with Charlotte and Colin trying to go to sleep. Charlotte likes to cry herself to sleep. Colin likes to just go to sleep. After all the beer dad doesn't really remember how he got Charlotte to sleep in the same room with Colin but in the end they were both down for the count, sleeping in the bedroom while the parents sat outside on the deck enjoying some refreshing beverages. Did we mention it was 100 degrees and humid? Please keep that in your head during all of this since we all love heat and humidity. Puts everyone in a wonderful relaxing mood...Especially dad.

Once Charlotte was sleeping, dad, Ryan, and Dave all decided to walk down to the pier to get a pizza and bring it back. That was the plan. On the way we passed a pizza place right next to the motel. So we figured we would walk down to the pier, have a drink, than walk back and grab the pizza so it would be hot for the girls. One drink turned into two. We all know how that goes. I blame Ryan. Ryan blames Dave. Dave blames me. Hey it happens. Not a big deal that we were gone for an hour already. We would grab the pizza and life would be good. We walked back and found the pizza place near the motel was now closed. This would not be good.

We franticly asked directions at the nearest store to the closest pizza place. It was not walking distance so we jumped in Ryans car and drove off to OOB House of Pizza. The drinks were now in our bladders. Of course Dad and Dave both had to go and wouldn't you know....no bathroom. Dave decided to go outside.

Dave returned with a gentleman following him. The guy then looks at us and said, you aren't so bright buddy. Im a cop and you just violated a town ordinance for peeing on that dumpster right infront of me. Dave of course replied....are you really a cop?

Luckily the cop was off duty and let it go without incident. For two days we laughed thinking this guys probably wasn't a cop...until we saw him on the pier the day we were leaving wearing his uniform.

We returned to the ladies with two pizzas over two hours late. Mom was not impressed. Lisa was not impressed. Kelly was not impressed. Of course we were happy we didn't have to bail Dave out of jail. The story also did not impress the ladies. Not a great start to vacation.

The next couple of days were very similar. It was hot. We went to the beach. Charlotte tried eating sand again (and did manage to get some). Dad went into the water. 100 degree heat outside....the water felt like 30 degrees. There were old ladies boogie boarding while we stood there watching them. More beer. More sun. More heat. Kids running around. Throwing sand. Getting sand on the blankets. Kids crying. More heat. More sand. More beer. More kids. More heat. Sand sticking to everything. Crying, playing, throwing more sand.
Charlotte slept most of the time while on the beach. Such a wonderful baby.




Sand, sand, and more sand.


Night number two mom, dad, and Charlotte went to a nice seafood dinner together. Dad ate overpriced lobster and mom ate fish that had a bone in it. Charlotte did great but choked on a piece of the paper napkin.

When we got back the girls decided to go out to the pier to have a "girls night out". They went dancing. Not too sure what happened but they had fun and got home late. The guys hung out on the porch again. Drinking beers with baby monitors in hand. Of course waking up early with a baby was so much fun for mom or dad.

The next day was the beach again. See above description. It was the same.


The final night we spent making margaritas on the porch in front of random peoples windows. I would have been pissed if these people were hanging out infront of my room...but we didn't have much choice. Monitors can only reach so far!


In the end the vacation was fun. It was nice to spend time with other guys in the same boat at dad. Im sure mom feels the same way. We are crazy enough to do it again and are working on planning next years trip!

OOB Meltdowns

Unfortunately dad wanted to catch EVERY kid having a meltdown however these kids are quick! By the time the video cam was on the meltdowns were over. This is what he did catch...

While mom was cooking/baking....

Yes you read the post correctly I was baking for our Kid Weekend and yes I still have all of my body parts. While I was busy in the kitchen Charlotte was busy (not far from me. I was supervising her) eating a Barley Teething Biscuit. Abby and Ollie have discovered the fun of having a sister. They sat by her chair just waiting and hoping something would fall on the floor. Abby and Ollie even had the honor of licking Charlotte's mess of a cookie hand..and yes Charlotte did put her hand back into her mouth after they were done.I missed the opportunity to get both in the photo so we just have abby enjoying her little hand of a snack.

Kid Weekend 2

Return of the Stinky Pants

Sounds like a great movie title.


Remember this picture?
Well we all have decided to do it again. As if having 9 kids in one house wasn't fun enough...we have decided to have 10 kids (thank you Chris and Amy for the addition of Haden) all together at the beach. Nothing better than sand stuck on sunscreen...ocean soaked dirty diapers....kids eating and throwing sand at people on the beach.....and of course crying tired sunburned children screaming sweet nothings at the top of their lungs. Old Orchard Beach watch out!!

Dad has started packing the car. Yes its early but he needs to make sure he packs it correctly and leaves a nice LARGE space for the cooler. The cooler will be packed to the rim with ice cold beer, wine, margarita mix, and anything else to help ease the pain that dad might need on a hot summer day.

The drive to Maine will be interesting. Dad is ready for the "I hate the way you drive" argument that accompanies all car trips. The ride always ends with the "I thought you knew where you were going but obviously you don't" argument. Dad has his own "When are you going to learn to read a map!" argument he uses on mom. Once again, when things get tough...dad will keep thinking about that packed cooler in the back of the car. Maybe he should move the cooler closer to the front?

Make it stop

These days I often see Charlotte from the rear view as she tries to escape out of the living room to investigate the rest of the house. She loves the carbon monoxide detector and hand held vacuum. We have gates but it's hard for a one legged mom to open and close the gates as well as maneuver a crutch and getting over one. I can do it but it isn't easy. She loves hiding on me and then peeking around the corner for another glimpse. But, I think I am done with the crawling thing..It's over rated. Oh and she has her first bruise. Yup, she hit her head on the baseboard molding around the bottom of the wall. She's hit her head multiple times since crawling but this is the first bruise. You may be able to see it in the photos...No not the stork bite in the middle of her forehead it's on your left hand side on the forehead. Oh and I have had enough of the pulling herself up..Yeah that always ends up with a lot of crying. She is able to pull herself up form sitting to standing most of the time the other times just leads to the crying part of the game.

Here is a great pick of Charlotte eating veggie puffs while trying to poop. Gotta love the face.

Eating and swimming

We took this video sometime in June but wanted to post it for everyone to see. Obviously dad figured out how to add video to the blog last night.

Crawling Maniac

Charlotte learned a new trick today!!

Fruit Puff Junkie

Dad searched the internet for a 12 step program to ween babies off of fruit puffs. He had no luck finding such a program. He must not have the only child in this country addicted to Fruit and Veggie Puffs. Those of you who dont know what they are the best way to describe them is melt-in-your-mouth pieces of fruit cereal heaven. They look like Cheerios except in the shape of a star. The second you put them in your mouth they dissolve like magic. They come in flavors like Cherry & Banana and the ohh so popular Sweet Potato and Sweet Corn. Dad likes them all. So does Charlotte. She loves them so much she eats them by the handful. Her arms start waiving and she grunts and groans when she sees the container. This is how we know she is addicted.

If anyone has any experience with addicted children, please leave a comment.

Things you learn at the beach

We took Charlotte to the beach today. Dad learned a few things in the process.
A. Always bring a hand towel to the beach.
B. When taking the baby to the water wear a tshirt.
C. Bring hand towel with baby to the water.

Dad wearing his shorts and no t-shirt (this is important) carried Charlotte down from the beach blanket to the water to "play" in the water and sand. Dad sat down in the wet sand as the baby waves slowly covered his feet. Charlotte did the same.

Dad dug a hole in the sand to show Charlotte how it fills up with water. Dad got wet sand all over his hands. Charlotte did the same.

Charlotte then took a fist full of wet sand and shoved it into her mouth. What did dad do? Tried to wipe it out of her mouth and off of her face but of course since his hands were covered in wet sand it only made it worse. Charlotte stared at dad with the "Im going to cry in a minute or choke to death in minute because of all this sand on my face and mouth" look. Dad wished for the above three things. A hand towel to wipe the sand off of her, or even his tshirt. Instead he resorted to the only thing he could do. Lick the sand off her face before she choked on it. Dogs clean themselves by licking it could work for kids too. Gross yes and people must have thought dad was crazy (he is) but it worked. One big lick across her face and the sand was now in dad mouth and off of her cheeks and mouth. The good news is that she didn't choke on the sand. The bad news is dad almost did.

Dad carried Charlotte back to mom the same way he carried her there...on his shoulders. Except on the way back Charlotte still had wet sand stuck to her face and hands...dad did as well. Mom was shocked with the amount of sand still on Charlotte (if she had only seen how much she had before he cleaned her off). Dad will always now carry a tshirt or hand towel with him at the beach.

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Saturday we had a babysitter! Jasmine came over around 11am to watch Charlotte while Mom and Dad got ready for Danny and Juli's wedding. Charlotte was very excited for some "girl time" with Jasmine. We left for the wedding comfortable that Jasmine would do a great job...although we were a little surprised Charlotte didn't end up with her ears pierced or something. Regardless we were happy she was in such great hands and was a well behaved baby (or at least that's what we were told). We will surely ask Jasmine to come babysit again! Thank you very much Jaz.










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We washed Charlotte Sunday after the beach incident to get rid of the remaining sand out of all of her rolls and crevices. Charlotte showed us how she wants to be a Labrador and retrieve ducks. Pictures below:

YUMMY!

"What a pretty blue toy"

We always thought we would have to keep the dogs from chewing Charlotte's toys. It seems we are going to have to keep Charlotte from Abby and Ollie's toys



Getting closer. "how do I get this big toy in my mouth"



SUCCESS! I did it, this taste delicious! YUM

Girl Uninterrupted

Dad awoke at 6am but something was wrong. Where was Charlotte?? He didn't wake up and feed her in the middle of the night. Panic struck in. He open his eyes and stared at the video monitor. There she was. Laying there. Mom woke up too.
"Do you think she is ok?" dad asked.
"I don't know" mom said.
"I think I should go make sure she is breathing" dad said.
Mom said nothing.

Just as he was about to leave the room...there we saw it. Charlotte stirring in her crib. We could see her eyes open....but she wasn't screaming and crying. Instead she was laying there....moving around....playing with her doll. She woke up without crying. She even seemed to be content!

We both couldn't believe it. Down at 6:30pm and up at 6:00am. A full night of uninterrupted sleep!


Tonight we had to lower the mattress in Charlottes crib. At bedtime Charlie was standing on the mattress, head over the railing. One step away from heaving her body out onto the floor. This was a job for dad. He busted out the drill, a bunch of allen wrenches...and of course a cold beer. You would think a crib would be easy. Nope..not a chance. One of the bolts was stripped. Charlotte was on the floor trying to eat the screw bits. Mom trying to keep her occupied. Thank God for cold beer.

Baptized

Charlotte basked in the glory of her day today. Mom and dad have NEVER seen her so happy before. She hammed it up for the cameras at the church....didn't make a peep except to make some gooo's and gaaaa's, and was the best behaved child we have ever seen in church. More to come about the weekend later....(someone is having a meltdown in her bedroom right now)

Headed to Vermont

Charlotte is being Baptized this weekend. We are headed to Vermont. Check back next week for photos. I am sure there will be a great one of Charlotte crying once that water hits her head as she is being help by a stranger. She loves strangers....

4th of July

90 degree heat and 99% humidity always makes a wonderful environment for a 4th of July Parade. Mom, Dad, Charlotte & Kelly, Dave, Mason, & Brodie strolled to the center of town to watch the parade. Charlotte watched from dad's shoulders for most of the parade and smiled happily. We got to see the original Molly Stark Cannon (look it up if you don't know what that is). The parade lasted a solid 45 minutes. By then Charlotte was cooking and dad was drenched in sweat. We headed back to our house for some air conditioning and cold beer. We even made some margaritas to take with us to the next event....the 4th of July Fair!

Fairs are a great way to judge a town. City fairs have lots of rides, few animals, and lots of arcade games geared at ripping you off. Usually they are held in mall parking lots. But we were at a good ol' fashioned NH country 4th of July fair. There was horse pulling contests, watermelon eating contests, lawn tractor pulling contests, a dunking booth, mud volleyball and child entertainer extraordinaire Wayne from Maine. It was held in the 4h fairgrounds, lots of dirt and grass. Try finding that in the city!

However after a few hours outside in the heat and humidity we had enough and headed home. From there the excitement continued. Charlotte had her own little contest...called an avocado eating contest. She won and the pictures prove it.

2am tango

Charlotte forgot how to sleep last night. She decided to remind us that she forgot how to sleep. She reminded us at 9:30, 11:30, 12:30am, 2:00am, 3:30am, 5:00am. Dad didn't need any reminding after the 12:30am waking. It was a long night.

Sunday mom went shopping with Kelly and left exhausted dad at home with exhausted Charlotte all day. Charlotte did fall asleep for a nap at 11am. Of course it lasted a whopping 15 minutes. Not fun. Dad took Charlotte for a little car ride out to Wilson's farm. While he did debate leaving her at the farm, she did take a nap on the way there so he decided to keep her. He brought her shopping for fresh produce. They had a very enjoyable trip. Dad loves spending the day alone with Charlotte, even fussy and tired.

Mom came home from her shopping spree with a dress and a new pair of shoes. Of course dad asked her why she bought two since she can only wear one. She said they only sell them in pairs. Makes no sense to waste a perfectly good left shoe. Dad is going to try to sell it on E-Bay.


Mom and dad ate dinner outside Sunday evening.

Handbags & hand grenades

Actual argument on Saturday July 1st when leaving Vermont.

Shelby "Are you going to make a bottle for the car ride home for Charlotte?"
Michael "Yes...where is the formula?"
Shelby "In the diaper bag! How many times do I have to tell you where things are?"
Michael "Which diaper bag?"
Shelby "Michael there is only ONE diaper bag we brought to Vermont!"
Dad "The green one?"
Shelby "I swear to God! The pink one"
Michael "Obviously there is more than one diaper bag. The only diaper bag I know is the green one I bought you when you were pregnant. The pink one must be the 'new' diaper bag."
Shelby "The pink one is the only diaper bag we have with us"
Michael "So that is the new diaper bag? What about the green one? Im going to get luggage tags for you to name all of your bags. I don't care what you name them as long as they have names so I know what bag to get.
Shelby "They already have names. The pink on is the Vera Bradley Paisley bag."
Michael "No you have 5 Vera Bradley paisley bags. That doesn't help. You need to name it. Wilma or something so I can remember."
Shelby "Michael you still won't remember. When I call the name of the bag you are going to have to run around the house checking all of the name tags on the bags until you find the right one"
Michael "that's fine with me, at least I will get the right bag for you."


Shelby has at least 20 bags. In her mind if she puts diapers in the bag it suddenly becomes a diaper bag. This makes it very difficult for dad. He bought her a real diaper bag, but she doesn't use it for diapers. And the canvas beach bag we have? That is now a toy bag even though in dad's mind it's the canvas beach bag. So confusing the life of a father.

Diaper bag. Not to be confused with the diaper bag below.


New diaper bag even though the bag is not new.