Humpty Dumpty

...Sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty played with Charlotte and had a ball.
All the kings horses
and all the kings men
couldnt get Charlotte to leave Storyland with them.


It was a battle to get Charlotte to leave Storyland. After five hours of going on the rides and playing you would think she would be done. Nope.
Rule number 63 of parenting...Leaving an Amusement Park with a toddler is much harder than entering one.

Storyland, nestled in the White Mountains of New Hampshire, is a toddlers dream! All kids can ride virtually all of the rides (Charlotte was technically 1 inch too short for the rollercoaster, but dad blew past the guard) so you really dont have to worry about a dissapointed child who cant get on. If you are really worried, just pick your child up and carry them. They cant measure your childs height when she is in your arms! HAAA!

Mom went on the rides that spin, like the teacups. Spinning makes dad sick.


Dad went on the rides that have height and speed, like the rollercoasters. Heights make mom sick.



Charlotte of course went on all of them. She loved the rollercoasters and kept asking to go on it over and over. The nice thing was despite the perfect weather, and the packed parking lots, the park had virtually no lines. Very important since we all know how much toddlers love being patient in line. Oh and kids under 3 are free. Adults were just $20 each. Beverages and snacks in the park? CHEAP. This is not Disney, it's Storyland! $3.50 for a giant snow cone. $3.50 for a tall glass of fresh squeezed lemonade. $1.50 for bottled water. Face painting FREE.



Charlotte did such a good job getting her face painted. She even told the girl she wanted a butterfly. What color she asked? Charlottes reply...Brown. Nice Charlotte. We denied that request and had her color it purple instead.


We all had a blast at the park. What about poor forgotten Maeve you ask? Well she loved it too. She was so excited to go that by the time we got there she was worn out from the excitement. She slept. Slept some more. Ate...scrap that...slept. And slept again. She even rode on a few rides with mom. Ahhh, we love a sleeping Maeve.




Highlight of the park for Charlotte...meeting Cinderella. I think Disney owns the rights to the Cinderella name so I think they just call her "princess". She looked 15 but to Charlotte she was Cinderella. Hey, much better than spending $78 to get into Disney only to see Cinderella from 100 yards away mobbed with screaming kids eating $15 snowcones and drinking $4 bottles of water as you walk past all the rides your kids cant ride on because they are too short only to wait in line for 2 hours in the florida heat to get on Its A Small World. I'll take Storyland over Disney any day of the week.


Rule number 43 of parenthood...If your children are good at the amusement park, they will be horrible on the ride home. . Maeve woke up in the car. Charlotte after not pooping all day, finally had to go. Maeve cried. Charlotte cried. It was the first time mom and dad were in the car and had two crying children. Needless to say we didnt like it. Maeve had a blow out. Charlotte was constipated. Then Charlotte finally went and Maeve had to eat. Mom and dad started laughing at the comedy happening in the back seat of the car.

We will just say we made it home, it wasnt pretty, we surely broke some child safety laws by changing a toddlers poopy diaper while driving 70 mph and breastfeeding on the Kancamagus Highway at 2,855 feet. We are parents. Thats what we do. We improvise.


How much do you think dad spent on the stupid "shoot the water in the clowns face" to win a stuffed animal contest?

Actually he only spent $3. That is a RECORD!


And finally. $450 for a Phil and Teds dual stroller, fully accessorized. Did Charlotte want to ride in it? Of course not, she would rather ride in the rickety ghetto strollers for FREE.