Humpty Dumpty

...Sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty played with Charlotte and had a ball.
All the kings horses
and all the kings men
couldnt get Charlotte to leave Storyland with them.


It was a battle to get Charlotte to leave Storyland. After five hours of going on the rides and playing you would think she would be done. Nope.
Rule number 63 of parenting...Leaving an Amusement Park with a toddler is much harder than entering one.

Storyland, nestled in the White Mountains of New Hampshire, is a toddlers dream! All kids can ride virtually all of the rides (Charlotte was technically 1 inch too short for the rollercoaster, but dad blew past the guard) so you really dont have to worry about a dissapointed child who cant get on. If you are really worried, just pick your child up and carry them. They cant measure your childs height when she is in your arms! HAAA!

Mom went on the rides that spin, like the teacups. Spinning makes dad sick.


Dad went on the rides that have height and speed, like the rollercoasters. Heights make mom sick.



Charlotte of course went on all of them. She loved the rollercoasters and kept asking to go on it over and over. The nice thing was despite the perfect weather, and the packed parking lots, the park had virtually no lines. Very important since we all know how much toddlers love being patient in line. Oh and kids under 3 are free. Adults were just $20 each. Beverages and snacks in the park? CHEAP. This is not Disney, it's Storyland! $3.50 for a giant snow cone. $3.50 for a tall glass of fresh squeezed lemonade. $1.50 for bottled water. Face painting FREE.



Charlotte did such a good job getting her face painted. She even told the girl she wanted a butterfly. What color she asked? Charlottes reply...Brown. Nice Charlotte. We denied that request and had her color it purple instead.


We all had a blast at the park. What about poor forgotten Maeve you ask? Well she loved it too. She was so excited to go that by the time we got there she was worn out from the excitement. She slept. Slept some more. Ate...scrap that...slept. And slept again. She even rode on a few rides with mom. Ahhh, we love a sleeping Maeve.




Highlight of the park for Charlotte...meeting Cinderella. I think Disney owns the rights to the Cinderella name so I think they just call her "princess". She looked 15 but to Charlotte she was Cinderella. Hey, much better than spending $78 to get into Disney only to see Cinderella from 100 yards away mobbed with screaming kids eating $15 snowcones and drinking $4 bottles of water as you walk past all the rides your kids cant ride on because they are too short only to wait in line for 2 hours in the florida heat to get on Its A Small World. I'll take Storyland over Disney any day of the week.


Rule number 43 of parenthood...If your children are good at the amusement park, they will be horrible on the ride home. . Maeve woke up in the car. Charlotte after not pooping all day, finally had to go. Maeve cried. Charlotte cried. It was the first time mom and dad were in the car and had two crying children. Needless to say we didnt like it. Maeve had a blow out. Charlotte was constipated. Then Charlotte finally went and Maeve had to eat. Mom and dad started laughing at the comedy happening in the back seat of the car.

We will just say we made it home, it wasnt pretty, we surely broke some child safety laws by changing a toddlers poopy diaper while driving 70 mph and breastfeeding on the Kancamagus Highway at 2,855 feet. We are parents. Thats what we do. We improvise.


How much do you think dad spent on the stupid "shoot the water in the clowns face" to win a stuffed animal contest?

Actually he only spent $3. That is a RECORD!


And finally. $450 for a Phil and Teds dual stroller, fully accessorized. Did Charlotte want to ride in it? Of course not, she would rather ride in the rickety ghetto strollers for FREE.

Note from Charlotte's Teacher

Shelby~
Listen, I'm enjoying Charlotte so much this week. It's making me want to teach the 3's again for next year! The great news is that I'll have her in the 4 year old program at Chestnut (preschool)! She's a stitch and such a great kid. Her manners are impeccable and her attitude towards teachers and children is phenomenal. Thanks for "sharing" with me this week.
XOXO
love,
Jen

Wow. Ok, maybe this mom staying home to take care of the kids things is paying off. Then again, it could be that she inherited her fathers "genious genes". Yeah, I think that is what it is. Brilliant.


Jen (Charlottes teacher) is also trying to raise money for The American Cancer Society. Not that I ever want to detract money away from the Multiple Sclerosis Society, its a very worthy cause and it certianly affects so many people. If you are interested in providing a small donation online please Click Here . Let her know its on behalf of Charlotte. Maybe we can score an A for Charlotte that way. :)

Its Official

Charlotte is a big girl now. Not only has she consistently been going on the potty, but she even started school this week. Yes SCHOOL. Ok, its more like a special one week school camp, but to her and to us it is still school. She is there from 8:30am until noon all by her big girl self (with other kids and teachers though). According to her teacher she is the only kid that actually listens and participates in everything. Singing songs, making crafts, dancing, playing, everything. Crazy how different of a child she is when her parents are not around. Wow, she is growing up so fast.

Dad also officially thinks Charlotte is the BOMB DIGGITY. After work, Mom, Dad, Maeve, Charlote, even Abigail and Oliver went for a walk on the nature trail along the river. As soon as we took the leashes off the dogs, it was straight into the river for a swim. Charlotte and dad followed, playing and splashing with the dogs in the cool refreshing water. Dad has a new play buddy. She may only be 2 and a half, but she is a whole lot of fun. Unfortunately mom got stuck with Maeve on the river bank because it was too steep. The "swimming hole" which is much more accessible for a mom with an infant was packed with kids so we are going to have to make a return trip. Obviously we weren't the only ones with the idea to go play in the river! Sometimes it so nice living in a small NH town!

Tonight Charlotte and Maeve shared a bath together. Maeve is such a peanut next to her big sister. She has learned to smile at dad which of course will get her away with murder.

Hi Sister! Want to take a bath with me?


Sister, this is how you take a bath.


Watching big sister Charlotte intently.


Lots of love for each other.

...if you cant stand the heat....

get to the beach and out of the kitchen, or something like that. The temp topped 95 this weekend, hazy, hot, and humid, so what do people do when it gets that hot? Well you go to the movies of course. Charlotte went to the movie theater for the first time. And what movie did she see you ask? The 11:30am showing of Kung Fu Panda. Nothing better than escaping the sticky summer heat like hiding out in a dark, cool, movie theater with a giant tub of popcorn overflowing in one arm, a 104oz soda he could barely lift in the other arm, and a two year old hanging onto your shirt. Dad left a trail of popcorn from the concessions all the way through the theater.

He tried to be inconspicuous but Charlotte was quick to keep yelling, "Dadda! You dropped popcorn!" and would try to pick it up. Ahh, the mind of a two year old. Dad has a tub of 6 gazillion puffs of popped corn and she is concerned about the couple he drops. Silly kids.

Charlotte loved the stadium seating, THX surround sound, and the action packed fight scenes in the movie. In reality she thought it was just ok (dad liked it more than she did), but she really really liked the preview of the new Disney flick coming out called Wall E. Sounds like we will have to take another jaunt to the cinema for that one!

You ask what did mom do while dad was enjoying his quality time with Charlotte? She was teaching young Maeve how to shop. Maeve enjoyed watching mom spend money as her way of avoiding the heat. However, when you calculate the cost of the movies with popcorn, candy, soda, tickets versus mom at the mall for 4 hours with an infant, the cost per minute is much lower for the mall.

Dad returned from the movies at the peak of the mid day sun and decided to mow the lawn. Yes, we nearly lost him from heat exhaustion but the lawn is looking great!

Of course rule number 3 during an oppressive heat wave....one of your air conditioners will break. Its never the one that you don't really need, it has to be the one in the bedroom. So dad made a special trip to Lowes at 9pm to buy the last, and I mean last, "on sale" air conditioner.

What else do you do to enjoy 95 degree weather? Well you go to the beach of course! Sunday our family met the Reeves Family, and the Snyder Family at what Charlotte officially calls, "Wallis Sands Crab Beach". 3 couples, 7 kids. Wow.








The infants enjoyed their brief stint of having heat stroke (hey just like dad after mowing the lawn). Good thing they were bundled up in their hoods and black strollers. Can someone call Child Protective Services now? Actually the white robe is the latest fashion design in child cooling sunblock outfits. I wish I would have invented that. It seems to have worked because Maeve just slept the whole time.




Which brings me to the greatest invention of all times. Spray On Sunblock. Gone are the days of rubbing gritty sand into your sensitive burning skin. Now, you just spray it on. One note of caution. Do not apply to your back by yourself...especially when it is windy. Dad looks like a Candy Cane tonight with lovely red stripes of burn highlighted by streaks of white pasty skin. Lovely.

Newly engaged Jon and Tracey also showed up at the beach to partake in the festivities. Here is a picture of the happily engaged couple in 30 years.



Seriously, Congratulations Jon and Tracey. Its about time you popped the question.


We had a great time and a wonderful weekend. Dad couldn't think of a better way to enjoy his family.

In case you missed it...

we are asking our readers to vote on the new blog name. Charlottes Web is great, but we think its important to incorporate something that has meaning to both children. Your votes are important. You can vote multiple times by clearing your internet cache. If you dont know how to do this (which you should do on a regular basis anyways). We are hoping we arent going to have to take this to the delegation.

Teaching a two year old

Today Charlotte went to the dump with dad. Let's clarify. Transfer station to be politically correct. Or recycling center since the landfill has long been capped and closed and since it is mandatory to recycle your trash.

Dad had fun teaching Charlotte all about recycling. Showing her how to throw the empty soda cans into the big bin. Then we moved to the glass. Taking empty beer bottles and smashing them into the glass recycling bin. Like any kid or male adult, it was fun, chucking bottles against the cement, watching them smash and shatter into a million little pieces. Then it was off to recycle the cardboard. Yes, a big letdown to a two year old after the glass fiasco.

We arrived back home and dad went back to work downstairs. Mom gave Charlotte some blueberries in a dish and everyone seemed to fall into their normal routine until dad hears SMASH above his head. He runs upstairs to find Charlotte standing in the doorway to the bathroom, mom behind her, explaining to mom that she threw the glass dish against the tiled bathroom floor because dadda showed her how to recycle.

Needless to say neither of us yelled at her. We both sort of giggled at the idea and stressed that there was no throwing glass in the house. Only at the dump. Or transfer station.


Maeve has officially surpassed dad with the amount of hair she has on her head. Not only is it longer than dads, but thicker and when its spiked it looks much cooler.

Whats up people! Maeve throwing up her gang sign. Now officially part of the Dirty Diaper Crew:


I have more hair than dad!


And my hair is cooler than dads!

Expedition Wilderness

Camping is a wholesome, educational activity for the whole family to enjoy. It's a great way to teach kids about the great outdoors, creatures big and small, and what it is like to 'rough it'. We headed out to the great wilderness of Alaska and the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge for a camping expedition.


In reality it was our back yard. Dad set up his ultralight tent and thought it might be nice to camp under the stars with Charlotte. You know, have a little campfire, make some S'MORES, snuggle up in a tent, and listen to the wind blow to fall asleep. For some reason he couldn't find his tent stakes, so he decided to make a quick run with Charlotte to WalMart for replacements.

WalMart with a 2 1/2 year old is an experience in itself. LUCKILY she was strapped into the cart. Dad has never noticed that WalMart actually has some isles that consist of nothing but pink items. A little girls heaven. Next time you are there, look for the pink isle. Marketing genius.

In the camping section we passed an inflatable mattress. Of course dad wanted to by the cheap $12 one for Charlotte. However, she talked him into the $29 deluxe princess edition. There is something fundamentally wrong with the idea of anything pink in the wilderness on a camping trip. But if it got her to like the great outdoors, he was all for it.

Also on the list of purchases:
Glow Sticks - great nightlight replacement
Lemonade - the man in the yellow hat on Curious George loves it
Tent Stakes - no justification needed
Pink Princess Air Bed - dad is a sucker
Queen Sized Air Mattress - dad thinks his has a leak, so he bought a new one
Marshmallows and chocolate - SMORES
Charcoal - to cook the marshmallows outside on the mini Weber
12 pack Dr. Thunder - Dr. Pepper rip off that is exactly the same for $2.88!
Nylon rope - every wilderness guide needs rope
Cool Touch Pull UPs- per moms request. Charlotte is potty training
One Infant outfit - per moms request although of course it is wrong. She said it was a boys outfit. I said Yellow is universal.

As soon as we got home, dad realized the small ultralight tent he had already set up was not going to fit both Charlotte's princess bed and dad's queen bed. So he pulled out the gigantic deluxe family tent (which does has tent stakes so in reality he never needed to go to WalMart). Presto Chango and the big tent was set up to replace the small tent. However, dad now couldnt find the airpump for the mattresses. However he did know exactly where the leaf blower was! Would it work? YES Great idea dad. (notice the leaf blower in the picture)


We ate dinner then started the fire outside for the marshmallows. As soon as the package was opened, Charlotte quickly shoved multiple in her mouth and began chomping. Dad used a stick to heat up a good amount (we are not telling you how many SMORES we ate) and made the delicious camping treat. Into the house we went to bathe, get pj's on, and then camp outside!

Wooo hoooo! With laptop in one hand and Charlotte in the other we entered the tent. She LOVED her princess bed and quickly snuggled in. Dad of course being the tech geek he is fired up the laptop to watch movies with Charlotte (and wireless internet works in his back yard). As the sun set, we snuggled in and she was just about asleep. Dad shut off the movie. It was like a switch went on in Charlotte's head sounding the siren to wake up. Moving from her bed to my bed. Wriggling and writhing. Talking up a storm about nonsense things like going to school and eating grilled cheese sandwiches. Essentially talking about anything and everything to keep herself awake.



By now it was dark and Charlotte said, "All Done Camping". That was it. He wasn't about to torture her with one of the things he loves the most. Disappointed and broken hearted like the expedition that attempts to climp Mt. Everest and has to turn back, we headed inside. Next time he will leave the movie on until she falls asleep or perhaps he will skip the marshmallows with all their sugar. Im sure she would sleep very well in a big new pop-up camper.

***UPDATE- I did not want "cool touch" pull ups, just plain pull ups. What kind of chemical or ingredient is in them to make them "cool", no thanks against my child's skin that has crazy skin sensitivity.
Also, I asked for a one piece outfit with long pants and short sleeves. He came home with two outfits with no sleeves and shorts. They were yellow, green, light blue and orange. It's not quite warm enough for the little dresses and short sleeves.

Wii Fit

Excersize while playing a video game? Any excuse to talk mom into allowing dad to purchase a video game system sounded good to him. He tried to get mom to agree that a Playstation III and Grand Theft Auto was a great way to relieve stress, thus making him healthier. Instead mom went for the WiiFit idea. Thank you Today Show for popularizing it for us. If Matt Lauer said it was cool, well then we HAD to get it.

Ok, it is cool. How it works without wires is a mystery.You stand on the board and PRESTO! Weight and Body Mass Index is calculated. What I will say is that my weight was dead on and now I have a video game telling me I am fat. Just what we all need.

Once it was set up, Mom quickly took over, testing her fitness and playing some of the games. One of the games requires you to walk a tight rope, using your balance. She died. However, another game where you get points for spinning an virtual hula-hoop she was amazing at. And I think she broke a sweat.

Will it replace the gym? No. Is it a fun way to work out at home without feeling like you are working out? Absolutely. Highly recommended for those of you with kids or parents that could use a little extra activity.

Things Not To Do

Things not to do:
Do not leave a newborn unattended on a couch.
Do not spank the bum of a 2 1/2 year old who thinks its fun to stick her finger deep into the dogs eye. At least not when she doesn't have any clothes on. A bare bottom spank in front of a wife who is a mandated reporter is a big No No.
Do not leave your wife alone for a night with a newborn who has a fever. She is liable to give the 3 week old baby Tylenol. Wait, make that the wrong DOUBLE dose of Tylenol. They have to be 2 months to get anything.

Happy Birthday Mamma!!

Dad may be a great father, but sometimes he is a lousy husband. Mom had no presents to unwrap on her birthday. Not a one. He did make sure to get her a card and of course Charlotte and Maeve got her a card as well. But on the present front he was lacking.

Mom has wanted a necklace for mothers day and her birthday. Unfortunately it was a little "different' than all of the suggestions of friends and family. So instead of getting her something that she liked instead of loved, he had mom order it herself. Not very romantic and thus no present to unwrap. To date, the necklace has still not arrived.

We did get to spend a great day at the beach. Charlotte and dad searching for crabs. Mom with Maeve attached to her boob under the umbrella freezing in the shade. We did find some crabs and brought them to mom for her birthday. Who hasn't heard of birthday crabs? Oh and a couple of shrimp for good luck as well.


The crabs were not a hit so instead we decided to head into Portsmouth for a little lunch. It was such a nice day. It was very busy, the decks were packed, but we happened to steal a table immediately at the Stockpot. We had an awesome lunch and were stuffed. We wandered into the Wine and Cheese shop and splurged on a bottle of Muscat di Asti and some special stinky cheese. Yummm. Time to head home. We were full, tired, and ready to go.

When we got home we decided to skip dinner. The special dinner dad planned of fresh pan seared sea scallops went uncooked. Instead we will have them on Monday. However dad did pull off getting mom her favorite mix of cake and icecream from our friends at Carvel.




Dad really tried to make the day special for mom. Like most men, he probably doesn't tell her nearly enough how much he loves her and how important she is to him. He can't imagine a life or a family without her and would do anything to ensure her happiness in this world. Even if that means he should pick up after himself and unload the dishes. I love you dear.

The Artist

"Swimming Water Under Darkened Sunlight" is Charlottes latest work. With coveralls made of old pajamas, Charlotte takes reign of the canvas and creates a masterpiece in acrylic. Using dramatic blues she captures the essence of the moment and truly inspires the imagination. This is the first in her new series of work which will be on display starting in June.

Quiet Time

Less words, more pictures.

Dad enjoying some quiet time with his new daughter Maeve:




Such tiny hands:



Playing with Mr. Bear:



And big sister Charlotte:



Charlotte playing in the water table: