Things Not To Do

Things not to do:
Do not leave a newborn unattended on a couch.
Do not spank the bum of a 2 1/2 year old who thinks its fun to stick her finger deep into the dogs eye. At least not when she doesn't have any clothes on. A bare bottom spank in front of a wife who is a mandated reporter is a big No No.
Do not leave your wife alone for a night with a newborn who has a fever. She is liable to give the 3 week old baby Tylenol. Wait, make that the wrong DOUBLE dose of Tylenol. They have to be 2 months to get anything.